It’s that time of the year again. The end of one thing, and the start of something new. For many of us, it’s the time of year for crafting our New Year Resolutions.
I’m not sure why we wait until January 1st to try something new, or make a commitment to improving ourselves in some way. There are 365 days in the year, any one of those would suffice.
Nevertheless, it is a tradition and some traditions bring us comfort. First, let me list off some of the most popular New Year Resolutions, as published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology.
- Lose weight
- Get organized
- Spend less, save more
- Enjoy life
- Get fit
- Learn something new
- Quit smoking
- Help others
- Fall in love
- Spend more time with family
If you are making similar resolutions to some (or all) of these, then we have a number of articles to help. Looking to get organized? Read 20 Tips To Simplify Your Life and 6 Benefits Of A Minimalist Home. Want to save money and spend less? Check out our articles Paycheck to Paycheck: Understanding the Epidemic and How To Save Your Money.
All of these resolutions are terrific, and can help to greatly improve our lives. Ultimately, I believe these resolutions are helping us work toward a single, larger goal: happiness.
To that end, I suggest the following resolution:
Be More Vulnerable
It turns out that our happiness is most dependent on how connected we feel with others. I don’t mean how many friends we have, but how deep those connections are. A few, very deep connections are worth more than any number of friends that are essentially acquaintances.
Being vulnerable involves being true to you. It means exposing yourself to the world, exactly as you are.
To truly connect with others, we need to let them know us. Not just a part of us, but the whole of who we really are.
Inevitably, we will disagree on some things with each person we meet because no two people are exactly the same. Being vulnerable means we need to be willing to disagree, to not change ourselves for others, and let the chips fall where they may.
This may seem risky, and it is. That’s the point. You will feel vulnerable doing this. However, in the end, your relationships will be strong, and deeply connected because your friends will know exactly who you are.
You will stop feeling ashamed of the details of who you are, because you will realize that no matter what, there are those that love you for exactly who you are! A feeling of self-worth and self-confidence inevitably follow.
Vulnerability: The Path to ACCOMPLISHING All Of OUR Resolutions
I don’t know about you, but, I have found it very difficult to stick with my resolutions in the past. If I want to exercise more, eat better, etc., I usually lose my willpower within a few weeks.
Vulnerability can help with that. By being open with those around us, we open ourselves up to the opportunity of asking for help. This means we can tell others we want to lose weight, or quit drinking, or smoking, or go to the gym more.
Moreover, by exposing ourselves in this way, we invite others to do the same. You will probably learn that your friend also has a similar ambition for the new year. Instead of “doing it alone,” you will have found yourself a partner to share in the challenges. Together, you can push each other and keep each other motivated in your mutual struggles.
By being more vulnerable, we can admit failure or lapses to our friends and family. After admitting failure openly, it becomes easier to ask for help in getting back on track.
One of the worst things you can do for yourself in life is to cover up your mistakes. Our mistakes offer great insight into who we are. You could not have become the amazing person that you are without the mistakes and hardships. By allowing others to know these failures, you will discover rich, deeply connected relationships.
The Key To Falling In Love
At this point you can predict what I’m going to say. The key to falling in love is being vulnerable.
As I’ve already pointed out, vulnerability leads to deep, meaningful connections with those around us. By practising this with everyone we meet, we are inviting the opportunity for deep connections with everyone.
Given some time, those deep connections we gain by being vulnerable will lead to love. Better still, the person we fall in love with will know the exact truth of who we are.
Worried about telling someone you love them? Do it anyway! Dare to be bold, and live a vulnerable, freely expressive life. It is nerve-racking, but it may lead to some amazing things!
* * *
“Those who mind don’t matter and
those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Bernard Baruch
Being true to yourself is difficult, at times. It can also be very uncomfortable at first, if you’re not used to it. But, with time, you will learn that through vulnerability comes a great sense of self-worth, self-confidence and connectedness. Self-worth, self-confidence and connectedness will ultimately lead to happiness. And, being happy is our real New Year Resolution?
Happy New Year! I wish you all the happiness in the world!